some things i wanted to spend my first day's paycheck on

Or, "A Pox on Your House, Officer Fink"

First I will admit, because I am a teacher, parent, and sometime grown-up, I did indeed break a law. Fine. And this is NOT an excuse but a REASON - the speed limit changed from 55 mph to 30 mph in a matter of yards. I was decelerating, obviously, when I bound into town at ("allegedly") 42 mph. But anyway. Grrrr.

1. magnetic paint to cover the chalkboard in my classroom
2. dinner at a swanky Portland restaurant
3. Shanghai tunnel tour
4. Plain White Ts CD
5. getaway with girlfriends
6. drinks at Teardrop Lounge with our beloved bartender Dave
7. ANYTHING other than a frickin' speeding ticket

Really, I have prayed for Officer Fink (his real name, I kid you not) and his crummy job for which everyone but the mayor of his tiny beach town must hate him. Finding the Zen. That's free, right? Because I'm out of cash for awhile.

i know you envy & idolize me - i'm purple!

You Are a Purple Crayon

Your world is colored in dreamy, divine, and classy colors.You hold yourself to a sky high standard, and you are always graceful.People envy, idolize, and copy you without realizing it. You are an icon for those who know you.And while it is hard to be a perfectionist, rest assured it's paying off! Your color wheel opposite is yellow. While yellow people may be wise, they lack the manners and class needed to impress you.

What color crayon are you?

about my 39th birthday

I could try to do a list of 39 things, but...no. I'm tired. It was a great day!

• my darling daughter decorated a plain brown box with markers to make it look like a wrapped present, with a drawn-on ribbon and little hearts, then put inside a soy candle (bought with her allowance money) and some items from her jewelry box
• the kids remembered which chocolate bar I craved from Trader Joe's (dark chocolate with raisins & pecans!)
• my darling son announced first thing in the morning that I'm officially half-way to being an old geezer
• found a cool old black metal lunchbox at an antique store for $7 (for the darling son who brought me the dire message)
• tried on some outrageously expensive clothes at a boutique where I had a gift certificate; bought a couple of mildly expensive pieces...
• had my favorite baked ham sandwich at Wild Oats (alas, no Dairy/Freezer Guy)
• got a French manicure and now can't stop looking at my fingernails
• enjoyed dinner & singing at Red Robin (when our waiter announced, "You're 21 today, right?" and Mason had to correct him, loudly, another server said, "Buddy, trust me, she's 21." I wanted to kiss him)
• picked out speakers for listening to the iPod in MY CLASSROOM
• delighted in a wine & chocolate cake party at my best friend's house
• I didn't cry once; I think I'll be okay at this aging thing

Oops...As noted by Saint Husband, none of these fantastic things would have happened without the Best Man Ever hanging with the kids all day. You complete me.

thirteen things i love about the world

Thursday Thirteen ~ Now this is a meme I can get behind!

1. kids laughing till they can't breathe
2. dark chocolate with raisins & walnuts
3. gerber daisies
4. rollercoasters
5. that sharp smell of a fresh rain
6. music
7. harry potter
8. watching squirrels bury their booty
9. swings
10. real smiles
11. fresh berries
12. my man who rubs my shins without complaint
13. it's so big, yet so small

(Thanks, God. You rock).

things that are funny

According to me, though I am not a clown, here to amuse you...

• students who think teachers can't hear them talk about outrageously inappropriate behaviors
• t-shirt seen on customer at wild oats: "MEAT IS MURDER tasty, tasty murder"
• the words 'penis,' 'fraggle,' 'wormy,' and 'poop'
• grown men who still go by the name Scooter (this could also be on the 'things that are sad' list, I suppose)
• bumper sticker: "Jesus Loves You...Everyone Else Thinks You're an Asshole"
• www.askaninja.com
• best riddle ever: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead (and the question that is always in the back of my mind: Do monkeys really die in & fall out of trees? Curious...)
• best knock-knock joke: Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Inter- MOO!

Now, go forth and chuckle in my name.

things that are sad

Only a random sampling, in no particular order (other than stream of consciousness, of course)

• family photos left in frames donated to goodwill
• the disturbing bunching that occurs with misfitting sweatpants
• a bumper sticker that says "I Brake for Birds" (My proposed counter-sticker: "If I Rear End You Because You're Braking for Birds, I Will Lose My Mind in Your Face")
• small children being dragged through the grocery store at 9 pm
• parents yelling at small children as they drag them through the grocery store at 9 pm
• yelling parents of small children in the grocery store filling their carts with crap that will eventually turn them into parents who yell at their small children in the store, late at night
• a surprised student who said to me when I informed him of the D he was getting in Speech, "but shouldn't I at least have a C because I'm in class everyday?"
• that student's mother is a teacher
• all of the 'reality' shows (I think they're satellite feeds from a different hostile universe, actually) featuring people trying to date or perform jobs
• me not being able to stop watching those shows if they appear on my TV screen

Tune in later for 'things that are funny.' It's like Prozac on the page!