bright side

Because I'm not a complete complainer/killjoy/family-disser, I've compiled a list of stuff I loved about this past weekend (I'm starting with Friday, though, to make it more impressive):

1. Getting my car unloaded of all the books & pillows & games I've scored at Goodwill for my classroom
2. Girlfriend movie night at the luxurious [read: They serve delectable food and cocktails right to you IN YOUR SEAT] Living Room Theater.
3. Girlfriend bar visit at the uber-hip (I wish Blogger could do an umlaut; it makes words so much cooler) Teardrop Lounge
4. Sunny drive to my parents' house
5. Super fun time at the Go-Kart track with kids & Dad & cousins - Mason & I had to be rescued by the monitor dude after wiping out
6. Cheesy Oscar Meyer hot dogs for dinner. Shhhh, don't tell Whole Foods!
7. Starbucks run with my sister; seeing darling barista boy
8. Not-too-rainy drive home
9. Kind family who offered to jump start my dead battery at the ferry (story to follow)
10. Fabulous new Skechers walking shoes, on clearance with extra discount

I realize it is rather lame to have a picture of my new shoes rather than my family or friends. But aren't they really cute? I know they will help me get some actual exercise this summer, before my heart stages a major protest that will totally disrupt my trip to Europe. And my tattoo plans.

instructions for my memorial, part 1

Not to be morbid or anything...I just like to be prepared (okay and always in control, whatever)

Let it be known - I want it to be party-like. Use my party planning books if necessary, but it had better be festive, by God. Wherever people can fit, pretty ribbons hanging around (no balloons), lots of good food & music.

• good songs, in no particular order (like i could tell anyone they're doing it wrong), to be played during a fun photo montage (yes, fun dammit) and during general mingling:
  "One Moment More" ~ Mindy Smith (1st song for pictures - cue sobfest, but it's so lovely)
  "Beloved Wife" ~ Natalie Merchant (I'm not being vain! Stu likes it)
  "The Dance" ~ Garth Brooks
  "Promise Her Anything" ~ Tom Jones (because there should be some levity, and I love Burt Bacharach)
  "American Girl" ~ Tom Petty
  "Don't Like Goodbyes" ~ Harry Connick, Jr.
  "Sky Blue & Black" ~ Jackson Browne (overlooked, i think; listen to it)
  "Let There Be Love" ~ Chris Botti & Michael Buble (these lyrics are fabulous - 'let there be cuckoos' is priceless)
  "Wonderful Tonight" ~ Eric Clapton
  "Endless Love" ~ Diana Ross & Lionel Richie (for maximum smarm effect - better even if someone wants to lip-sync it)
  "Teacher, Teacher" ~ .38 Special (Why not? It rocks!)
  "I Really Got the Feeling" ~ Dolly Parton (Because "I Will Always Love You" will just send everyone over the edge)
  "I'll Stand By You" ~ The Pretenders (listen & weep when you're in that mood)
  "Crazy Love" ~ Ray Charles & Van Morrison
  "Apron Strings" ~ Everything But the Girl
  "In My Life" ~ The Beatles
  "Here Comes the Sun" ~ The Beatles (For the kids; I sing it when I open their blinds in the mornings)
• Throw "Crazy Train" in there somewhere, too, what the hell

Note to everyone: Feel free to use any/all of my ideas for your own funeral! The more merry people at a memorial, the better, I say.

things my best friend hopes i'll do

because she loves me and wants only the best for me

• stop referring to her as a 'California girl' whenever she whines about rain
• not find the best deals at GAP & Old Navy before she does
• eat more salad
• tell her my kids also destroy and/or lose new toys within an hour of receiving them
• loan her some seasonal purses and watches (and teach her to care about switching them...)
• go skiing, without making stinky faces
• never take her to another sad-ending movie
• refuse to share the gigantic tub o' popcorn with buttery flavoring at the movies
• engage in gossip about the pta
• use capital letters when i type e-mails
• wear lipstick
• believe that she really does not like chocolate
• vote Republican
  

Best of luck, best friend

kind of like hell, but with marshmallows

I love my family, and so I camp with them. Here are the things I rather like about the situation, and things that make me want to stab everyone nearby.

like:

• meandering conversations with best friends (we always go with them; takes the total hell feeling away...)
• no housekeeping required
• lots of wine
• kids happy & nice to each other (probably because of lots of wine and no housekeeping for adults)
• cute wildlife like chipmunks and deer
• grazing from our bags of camp food all day long
• lots of wine (did i say that already?)
• spying neighbors don't actually know me
• indulging in craptacular gossip magazines
• quality time with family (that's not actually last, even though it looks like it...don't judge)

stab everyone:

• not-so-cute wildlife, like bread-stealing birds and blood-sucking mosquitoes
• frickin' cold water in bathrooms
• no Starbucks within walking distance
• Lord of the Flies mentality developing in children after six hours of closeness and no supervision (see "lots of wine")
• imagining every forest noise is a Jason-like axe murderer
• other people's horrific parenting on display

Look at that, more pros than cons. Plus the wine counts for two, so bonus! I guess I'll go again, but only where there are yurts and a nearby coffee shop. And lots of People magazines to share...and maybe a nanny.