things to say while rocking back & forth

In the event I end up in a padded cell or, at the very least, on a street corner, here's what I'll be muttering about:

• those idiotic cash advance ads on the radio
• students who ask "what are we doing today?" while looking directly at the agenda i've written on the board
• moving dirty spoons, every morning, from the sink to the dishwasher
• Paris Hilton - why do people care? Why? Why??
• underwear tossed within an inch of the hamper, but not actually into the hamper
• people who say "irregardless" or "Nordstroms"
• unnecessary slowness in drivers, store clerks, shoppers
• using silly words for body parts
• jackets, jackets everywhere but not one on a hanger...

Surely there is much more, but this will occupy me for awhile...please do visit, and bring chocolate.