ways my current husband is perfect

• he is perfectly willing to have any of my potential second husbands come mow our lawn for my pleasure
• he rubs my legs if I sit with him while he watches "American Chopper"
• he pretends to care about football
• he encourages me to shop as long as I bring home something from Victoria's Secret
• he accompanies me to Broadway shows with minimal eye-rolling and sighing
• he only complains a little about my furniture-moving fetish
• he's a fearless bugkiller
• he asks for just one action or comedy flick among my selection of 50 foreign & dramatic video rentals
• he knows when to bring me a creme-filled donut
• he's sexy in his greasy garage clothes...and in his sweaty just-back-from-the-gym clothes...and in his grown-up button-down work clothes
• he uses his wacky powers for good, not evil (usually)
• he occasionally indulges my travel fantasies
• he keeps his family comfortable & cared for
• he likes to be fancy
• he rarely begs
• he tells me I'm perfect