blast from the past

I got this list of horrifying facts (the only consolation I can find is that obviously many others did these same exact things) in an e-mail entitled "If You Were A Girl in the 70s." Enjoy cringing.

• You owned a bicycle with a banana seat and a plastic basket with flowers on it. That's so eerily true.
• You learned to skate with actual skates (not roller blades) that had metal wheels. I had both the normal (safe) kind that were like boots and the Death in the Afternoon version that shakily buckled onto my shoes.
• You thought Gopher from Love Boat was cute. Sigh, Fred Grandy.
• You had either a "bowl cut" or "pixie" or the "Dorothy Hamill." People sometimes thought you were a boy. And I bought the Short & Sassy shampoo to go with it
• You owned "Klick-Klacks" and smacked yourself in the face more than once! They totally rocked; I wish I still had them.
• You wore a poncho, gauchos, and knickers. Possibly all in the same day.
• You begged Santa for the electronic game Simon. And I got it! Then mastered it! What?
• You spent hours in your backyard on your metal swing set with the trapeze. The swing set tipped over at least once. Emphasis on the "at least."
• You had a pair of Doctor Scholl's sandals (the ones with hard sole & the buckle). Ugh. And I wasn't even forced to get them.
• You wanted your first kiss to be at a roller rink! Alas, it was not. But I was awesome at skating backwards, just in case.
• Your hairstyle was described as having "wings" or "feathers" and you kept it pretty with the comb in your back pocket. I clearly remember my little pink plastic Goody. Good times.
• You know who Strawberry Shortcake is, as well as her friends, Blueberry Muffin and Huckleberry Pie. And their nemesis the evil Purple Pie Man! Which is pretty creepy when you think about it - was he trying to PUT THEM IN PIES?
• You tried to do lots of arts and crafts, like yarn and Popsicle-stick God's eyes, decoupage, or those weird pot holders made on a plastic loom. Um, that would be the Loom Looper, people. And my grandma LOVED her pot holders.
• You made Shrinky-Dinks and put iron-on kittens on your t-shirts. Then I ironed my name in felt letters on the back of the t-shirts...
• You used to tape record songs off the radio (or tv) by holding your portable tape player up to the speaker. See these posts for documentation.
• You had subscriptions to "Dynamite" and "Tiger Beat." How else would I have covered every square inch of wall space in my bedroom?
• You wore friendship pins on your tennis shoes, or shoelaces with heart or rainbow designs. How about all of the above?
• You wanted to be a Solid Gold dancer. Desperately.
• You glopped your lips in Strawberry Roll-on lip-gloss till it almost dripped off. That was in preparation for the first kiss at the roller rink. Duh.

What is surprisingly missing: Smurfs, Happy Days, having a crush on Barbarino from Welcome Back, Kotter, my first album ("Thriller"), Hello Kitty everything, dressing like Cyndi Lauper, rainbow suspenders a la Mork from Ork (not to mention saying "Nanu Nanu" to my friends and laughing uproariously), shamelessly 'smoking' candy cigarettes, movies with intermissions (and drive-in theaters), playing marbles & jacks, and sliding across the slick vinyl backseat of my parents' car because seatbelts were not required. Ah, youth.

I'm breaking the law and posting this as my Thursday Thirteen anyway (it's only six off...).

Go see others here.