could i possibly be any more vanilla?

This is an assignment I gave my creative writing students this week. My only real intention was to get them to think figuratively - come up with unusual comparisons that tell something about a character (in this case, themselves). As individual statements, they seem innocuous & amusing. When read all at once? It's armchair psychoanalysis. Some of the patterns that emerged with kids were such dead-on personality profiles, I felt a little guilty for revealing them so. I think everyone owes me $95 for my hour of assessment.

Feel free to call this a meme (or whatever you prefer that doesn't sound so weird) and probe the depths of your own psyche. Zenmomma did a post like this, too (something in the air?) with variations and a song.

If I were a shoe, I'd be a shiny penny loafer.

If I were a city, I'd be London.

If I were a season, I'd be fall.

If I were a car, I'd be a Volvo.

If I were a vegetable, I'd be a carrot.

If I were a fruit, I'd be a strawberry.

If I were a color, I'd be plum.

If I were furniture, I'd be a loveseat.

If I were a song, I'd be something sappy. Or a show tune (but from a tragedy).

If I were a country, I'd be England.

If I were a beverage, I'd be black tea.

If I were clothing, I'd be a cardigan sweater.

If I were weather, I'd be sunny & mild.

If I were an animal, I'd be a koala.

If I were a dessert, I'd be apple crisp.

If I were a plant, I'd be a hydrangea.

If I were a word, I'd be practical.

scattergorical

Another fun something from e-mail (my range of resources is vast, no?). I do love the game Scattergories but most people I know hate to play with me; something about my immensely trivial brain. Haters. So I play alone. (We can call this a meme if someone else wants to run with it...Just post your participation in comments).

Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names, things and nothing made up! Don't use your own name for the boy/girl name question.

What is your name? Stephanie
4-Letter Word: SMRT (It's a Simpsons joke...)
Vehicle: Subway
City: Shanghai
Boy Name: Seth
Girl Name: Sandra
Alcoholic Drink: Singapore Sling (two points!)
Occupation: Superstar
Something you wear: slippers
Celebrity: Salma Hayek
Food: strawberries
Something found in a bathroom: soap
Reason for Being Late: slept in
Cartoon Character: Speed Racer
Something You Shout: Silencio!
Animal: salamander
Body part: shin
Word to describe you: special

eight maids a'milking

Okay, not really but I particularly like that part of the song. This is, however, a meme about 8 things. Read on for maximum enjoyment. (Oh, and thanks to my bff Lisa for the tag - visit her!)

8 things I'm passionate about:

1. Family
2. God & all his mysterious godly parts
3. Teaching
4. Writing
5. Chocolate
6. Books
7. Movies
8. More chocolate
9. And the Cowboys (but chocolate really needed two spots)

8 things I want to do before I die:

1. Live - too vague? Fine.
2. Visit with grandchildren
3. Witness my sister's contentment
4. Attend the Academy Awards (no idea how I can do this rationally)
5. Ride dozens of awesomely terrifying rollercoasters with Stu
6. See various parts of all the continents (my plans, they are outrageously specific, no?)
7. Know the successes of former students
8. Spend a wintery week in NYC

8 things I say often:

1. Seriously.
2. Puh-lease.
3. Put a spring in your step. (These phrases seem to paint a picture of impatience...).
4. That's a bummer. (The standard Love & Logic response to all excuses, complaints, and pleas).
5. Hey, he/she/you is/are left-handed! (I don't know why I get so giddy; it's like we must band together for solidarity in an oppressive right-handed world).
6. Let me smell. (There may be something very wrong with me).
7. Can we please watch something stupid? (When I've had a long day and just want to go brain dead in front of the TV and my man is involved in cerebral Discovery channel stuff).
8. Love you to pieces.

8 books I've read recently (can "recently" reach back to January, when I was actually reading regularly? I say yes.):

1. Blindness by Jose Saramago
2. Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott
3. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J. K. Rowling
4. Maximum Ride #3: Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports by James Patterson
5. Cuba Diaries: An American Housewife in Havana by Isadora Tattlin
6. The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards
7. The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen (in progress)
8. Redwall by Brian Jacques (in progress)

8 songs I could listen to over & over again:

1. Hey There Delilah Plain White Ts
2. Heart & Soul The Cleftones
3. Everyday I Write the Book Elvis Costello
4. Strangers When We Meet The Smithereens
5. State of the Heart Rick Springfield (Remember when I said there might be something wrong with me? Exhibit B. I am totally sweaty over this video.)
6. This Better Be Good Fountains of Wayne
7. American Girl Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
8. Apron Strings Everything But the Girl

8 things that attract me to my best friends:

1. sense of humor (well-developed & healthy)
2. intelligence
3. honesty
4. kind-hearted
5. joyful
6. do not pressure me to exercise
7. freely give chocolate
8. indulge my OCD tendencies without [much] mockery

You guys rock

People who would also do this meme:

Um. Whoever wants to, jump in & leave a comment saying you're on board. Please. Seriously.