please stay till the end

Ways I was blessed today:

1.

I'm totally serious. This came on the radio as I was leaving school, and I risked complete & utter ridicule from any teenagers near my car by turning it up & rolling down the windows. LOVE these boys! See them all grown up and still adorable, too. Don't hate.

2. Leadership class actually enjoyed [begrudgingly, but I'll take it] the Survivor activity I made up.

3. Literature class worked vigorously on the pre-Gatsby-reading Internet scavenger hunt. Possibly because the principal was observing today, but still.

4. SUNSHINE! And WARMTH!

5. Real Simple & Everyday Food in the mailbox; best friend's copy of People at my door.

Surely more will come as the evening moves on...I'm looking forward to children playing merrily, husband rubbing my shoulders as I grade papers, brilliant lessons for the remaining days [20] of Leadership magically falling into my brain.

could i possibly be any more vanilla?

This is an assignment I gave my creative writing students this week. My only real intention was to get them to think figuratively - come up with unusual comparisons that tell something about a character (in this case, themselves). As individual statements, they seem innocuous & amusing. When read all at once? It's armchair psychoanalysis. Some of the patterns that emerged with kids were such dead-on personality profiles, I felt a little guilty for revealing them so. I think everyone owes me $95 for my hour of assessment.

Feel free to call this a meme (or whatever you prefer that doesn't sound so weird) and probe the depths of your own psyche. Zenmomma did a post like this, too (something in the air?) with variations and a song.

If I were a shoe, I'd be a shiny penny loafer.

If I were a city, I'd be London.

If I were a season, I'd be fall.

If I were a car, I'd be a Volvo.

If I were a vegetable, I'd be a carrot.

If I were a fruit, I'd be a strawberry.

If I were a color, I'd be plum.

If I were furniture, I'd be a loveseat.

If I were a song, I'd be something sappy. Or a show tune (but from a tragedy).

If I were a country, I'd be England.

If I were a beverage, I'd be black tea.

If I were clothing, I'd be a cardigan sweater.

If I were weather, I'd be sunny & mild.

If I were an animal, I'd be a koala.

If I were a dessert, I'd be apple crisp.

If I were a plant, I'd be a hydrangea.

If I were a word, I'd be practical.

awards i should win

1. fastest eye roll in the west
2. most elaborate fantasies about imaginary boyfriends (don't ask)
3. best seasonal decorator
4. least likely to show cleavage in public without grimacing
5. strongest convictions about restaurants, grocery stores, and corporations that don't care what I think
6. worst planner of daily dinners
7. biggest weeper who doesn't actually cry in front of anyone
8. giddiest non-teen fan of Gael Garcia Bernal
9. funniest (& most humble) person you know
10. luckiest wife ever

(Awards I've actually won ~ Best Dressed Teacher (given after whining to students about how much I would love it) & Most Concerned, which is teenager-code for being way too involved in their personal lives)